Dating someone with a troubled past
I feel really nice inside because I never had a guy be so good to me before. It never "went in" because I didn't find a BF for a year anyway, so I never had sex after that one rape incident Sorry but there's no such thing as being talked into having sex. You cant say he raped you just because he left & didnt talk to you anymore. By entering this site you declare you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to its Terms, Rules & Privacy and you understand that your use of the site's content is made at your own risk and responsibility. Thats why when someone treats you badly you dont keep talking to them. You can label it whatever you like but thats not goin to help. I didnt say you knew that of course you didnt you trusted him but after he blew your trust by mistreating you , you still stuck around for more so yes at that point what were you expecting?
But even lately, my laugh seems very monotone and empty even though I have a lovely BF. I feel I am living in a a dream to good to be true. I read some books on abuse and I read that abusive guys adore girls who are the opposite of them. At first I said "OK" because he promised me he wouldn't leave. He hit & quit & alot of girls go through the same things so there's no need to feel bad about it anymore you may feel foolish however. He abused me too and told me bad things about myself.
I felt rather scared and I felt like throwing up because I was nervous; I was so tense I couldn't even "get it in". However nothing stopped him from hurting or taking advantage of me. Occasionally, I would develop an aversion to taste. I have a real boyfriend now but I'm not sure if I should tell him the details. If I tell him, I suspect maybe he will think strangely of me, even though I know he's not like that.
I was so young and innocent, I didn't have any experience but I was also very wise. He has a GF now which is great, I don't feel anything towards that.
Also, you are very critical of yourself, it sounds like you need to work on loving yourself and accepting yourself as it seems your boyfriend does, so why dont you?
Did he physically force you or did he talk you into it? Didn't treat me that well either (made threatening jokes, called me names and was about to leave the room in the morning when i was asleep). The second time after a year, he indirectly said sorry, calling me from a private number. You said your laugh is monotone & empty, if that is the case then let it be but that is why I said you are critical of yourself.